We'll be Together (I'm Searching for You)
by Emkatw1luv
Summary: Implied Suzalulu. Post R2. Dying. It's such a simple word, yet people are so scared of it. Why? How does death feel like? Lelouch wouldn't know the answer. He gently touched his chest, lightly tracing the geass symbol engraved on his skin. Six times. Six times he has died before. Six times the damned symbol brought him back. Rated T.


**_We'll be Together (I'm Searching for You)_**

Dying. It's such a simple word, yet people are so scared of it. Why? How does death feel like? Lelouch wouldn't know the answer. He gently touched his chest, lightly tracing the geass symbol engraved on his skin.

Six times. Six times he has died before. Six times the damned symbol brought him back.

Slowly, surely, he began to understand that witch's desperation. Nothing on him changed the past hundred years. He didn't grow, didn't age. Didn't do anything. He just slowly let time rot away the others around him, while he stayed the same. Perhaps this was Gods way of punishing him. He had wanted death, but got eternal life instead. How ironic. How cruel.

* * *

_Sunlight comes creeping in_

_Illuminates our skin_

_We watch the day go by_

_Stories of all we did_

_It made me think of you_

_It made me think of you_

* * *

Wealthy women and men alike picked him up for the night because of his looks. Although they'd been surprised by the symbol on his chest, he had brushed it off as a tattoo. He had gone with them for a night or two, but left soon enough.

He left their homes covered with their blood.

Their bodies didn't feel like the one he yearned for. No matter where he looked, where he couldn't find the one. Even with people that looked similar, hell, with people that could almost be the twin of that person, it still didn't feel the same.

And he missed it more and more as the days go by.

After a while, Lelouch gave on keeping human relations. They were useless anyways. There was only one person that Lelouch really needed. Only one person that mattered. _And Lelouch couldn't find him. _

* * *

_Under a trillion stars_

_We danced on top of cars_

_Took pictures of the stage_

_They made me think of you_

_They made me think of you_

* * *

Lelouch woke up face stuck to the floor of a stranger's bathroom. There were scratches on his face, and blood lined his lips. He tasted bile in his mouth, and noticed that he was lying in his own blood and vomit. His hands were covered with caked blood, as if he had clawed at something. He carefully checked his body, but didn't find any lines that suggested that he clawed himself. Groaning, he stood up, but stumbled and landed on the edge of the toilet. His head spun, and he sat down hard again. Shaking his head and slowly standing up, he wondered what happened.

Opening the door, he saw that beer cans littered the floor, and a blood covered wooden bat lay on the ground. A shearing pain erupted on his chest, making him double over and pound at the geass symbol on his chest. Clinging to the door frame, he wobbled forward and knelt down on the floor outside of the bathroom.

Make that seven times.

* * *

_I'm in a foreign state_

_My thoughts slip away_

_My words are leaving me_

_They caught on an aeroplane_

_Because I thought of you_

_Just from the thought of you._

* * *

"So, you really miss him that much? Get over it. He's long gone anyways." The witch's blunt response had him reeling in anger and despair, and he had kicked her without thinking.

He was rarely this illogical. Why was he doing this? She had been right. He should just give up-

No. He isn't. He can't.

Not after this long. Not after this much searching. Not after all that has happened. Not after everything.

_What was that saying? That love concurs all? Then surely it could concur time as well, can't it? After all, he loved him, right? Right?_ Lelouch shook his head.

_Of course he did. That's why he had agreed about the Requiem. That's why he had agreed about everything. That's why they spent so many nights together, tangled on the sheets, waking up sore, but happy._

_That's why. That's why._

_That has to be why. He has to come back._

Lelouch frowned. He was rarely this illogical.

* * *

_Oh lights go down_

_In the moment we're lost and found_

_I just wanna be by your side_

_If these wings could fly_

_Oh damn these walls_

_In the moment we're ten feet tall_

_And how you told me after it all_

_We'd remember tonight_

_For the rest of our lives_

* * *

Walking out on the streets without a jacket this time of year was really a mistake. But Lelouch didn't care. He was making more and more mistakes nowadays, anyways. Ignoring the stares that people gave him, he chugged down another beer, and wiped a hand messily over his face. Dried blood that caked his head from his eighth attempt still stuck, and he gingerly brushed it away. He was going somewhere important, after all.

Turning a corner, he stopped and threw away his beer can. He couldn't be seen with something like that there. Walking on, he managed to catch a bus and rode out his headache that he felt was coming up.

Several stops later, he stepped out onto a rocky road that was lined with flowers. Pushing past gates, he walked through them and went to the center, where a massive grave stone rested. On it, was etched,

'Nunnally vi Britannia, 100th Empress of Britannia and Savior of the Cruelty of the Demon.'

Several flowers lay next to it, and coins were scattered around. Lelouch smiled. Nunnally had been just as amazing as he'd hoped she'd be.

"You were amazing, Nunnally. Thank you."

He fished some coins out of his pocket, and dropped them on the grass before the marker. Turning, he walked to a shadowed region of the place. It was covered with weeds and he could barely make out a footpath.

He stopped at a small stone grave marker that was barely visible. Brushing away years of dirt and dust, the words 'Knight of Zero...Suzaku Kururugi' appeared. Lelouch smiled bitterly, then let out a forced laugh.

"Hey. Idiot. Did you miss me? Because I miss you, you know. And I've been looking all over for you, but you never show up. "

The grave stone just lied there. "You're such an idiot. Idiot." Lelouch got out the last couple of coins in his pocket, and placed them gently next to the word 'Suzaku' and carefully stood up. As he was walking down the path again, he turned around and whispered, "I love you."

* * *

_Oh, if these wings could fly_

* * *

Lelouch didn't know where he was. He was sitting on a park bench. He had a gun in his hand. There was blood on his chest. His geass symbol was burning.

Oh, it was probably his ninth attempt. He got up slowly, and felt pain on his side. Frowning, he carefully bent down to inspect his coat. It seemed to be covered with splatters of blood, unlike the rest of his body, which was covered with streaks. Did he get into a fight? Why was there different blood patterns on him?

Normally, Lelouch would investigate, but this time he just let it go.

He checked his surroundings, and noticed a small shop on the edge of the park. He proceeded to walk towards it, only something caught the corner of his eye.

Brown hair. The same brown hair as...him.

_I found you! _

* * *

_Oh lights go down_

_In the moment we're lost and found_

_I just wanna be by your side_

_If these wings could fly_

* * *

"Wait!" Lelouch yelled, running and tripping in his effort to chase after the boy. He was probably wrong, after all, how can only seeing the hair be-

The boy turned, and his green eyes sparkled in the sunlight. As if in slow motion, Lelouch saw his Suzaku. Oh, his Suzaku, his precious Suzaku, running towards him.

"_Êtes-vous bien?_ Are you alright?" The boy asked. Lelouch just stared for a couple of moments. He knew French, of course, but he'd always expected Suzaku to know how to speak Japanese, no matter how many times he reincarnated.

"_Je suis bien._ I'm alright." Lelouch said. The boy sighed in relief.

"Suzaku." Lelouch said. "Suzaku." _I found you, I finally found you. Yes. You're right here. I know it's you. Suzaku. Suzaku. Suzaku. _

"_Um...désolé, je ne suis pas Suzaku..._Um...sorry, I'm not Suzaku..." Lelouch blinked wordlessly at him.

"_Um...Je m'appelle Serge._ Um...My name is Serge." Lelouch sighed. He's still idiotic enough to give strangers his name.

"Serge." Lelouch said, tasting the name on his lips, and noting that it didn't seem right. Because it wasn't. Because it isn't. Because the boy standing in front of him isn't a _Serge _but a Suzaku. He knew it. He just knew it.

"_Je dois partir maintenant._ I have to go now."

Lelouch stared at him again. _Does he really not know me? Maybe if I call out to him again, maybe he'll respond. Maybe...just maybe he'll know me. I just have to say it. Just say Suzaku again. He'll know me. He will._

_"Au revoir._ Bye." The boy said with an awkward wave, before turning and walking off again.

_No. No. This isn't right. That's Suzaku. He loves me. I love him. It's him. It's him. Love can concur all, right? Even death right? So...I just have to call out to him again. He'll know. He'll know. He'll-_

"Serge." Lelouch called out. The naive boy turned, curious as to why the stranger called him again.

* * *

_I just wanna be by your side_

* * *

Lelouch drew out the gun that was underneath his coat.

* * *

_Oh, if these wings could fly_

* * *

The boy opened his mouth to scream, but Lelouch never gave him the chance.

* * *

_Oh, if these wings could fly_

* * *

He lightly traced his geass symbol on his chest. "You'll bring me back again, won't you?" He murmured."Stupid God."

He pointed the gun to his own head, and shot.

* * *

_Oh damn these walls_

_In the moment we're ten feet tall_

_And how you told me after it all_

_We'd remember tonight_

_For the rest of our lives_

* * *

Lelouch woke up on a rock hard bed. Shaking his head, and finding blood flying off, he narrowed his eyes at the smirking witch in front of him.

He knew that it was the tenth attempt.

And somewhere, deep, deep down inside him, somewhere so deep that his mind refuses to acknowledge, he knew: It was also the tenth time he'd killed Suzaku Kururugi.

* * *

_**Thank you for reading. **_

_**Notes:**_

_**-I do not own Code Geass**_

_**-All the French was off Google Translate, so there might be errors. **_

_**-The song lyrics were from "Wings" by Birdy. **_


End file.
